


Touch

by TinderWulf



Series: Touch [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 07:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/771615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinderWulf/pseuds/TinderWulf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the Meme:</p><p>"For humans as well as other mammals, touch is a necessary part of a healthy lifestyle. Babies thrive on it, and even as adults we crave gentle touch after a long time without it. I'd like to see Shepard getting stressed out and frazzled until she realizes what it is she needs..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta read so please ignore mistakes! 
> 
> I own nothing.

Two hours.

That was all it took for boredom to find her. Shore leave had never been easy for her. She always felt the weight of the coming mission, the next posting, and now, the war. 

It's been non-stop work since...hell, her entire career really. She used to look forward to finding someone to relax with even if it was spent with her parents when they could all get shore leave together. 

She missed that. 

Now her mother was out there somewhere helping with the crucible, no word on her father.

Her crew were likely at any open bar, drinking their cares away. Not that she could blame them though. She joined them sometimes, but mostly she wanted them to be able to relax and some had trouble doing that with their commanding officer nearby. 

Instead of joining the crew this time, she was touring the Presidium. The area where the Mako had burst through the conduit before skidding to a stop. Taking a seat on the nearby bench, she looked out over the lake and the miniature relay. It really was beautiful, even if it did almost allow Saren a way to take over the Citadel. 

The place was empty and quiet. Probably still closed to the public. 

A tired sigh left her as she let her shoulders slump. She was worn out. Her body ached from the last mission, she wasn't sleeping well, and she'd had to say goodbye to some friends. 

A soft cough behind her made her tense and make a grab for her pistol. That was until she recognized the familiar face.

“Sir.”

“I didn't mean to startle you, Shepard. I usually come down here for a breather now and then. Do you mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.”

Councilor Sparatus took a seat next to her. Looking around, Shepard finally noticed the lack of seating elsewhere. Then the scorch marks under her feet. She laughed. Sparatus didn't say anything, just spread his mandibles in a small smile as she toed the black scratch on the ground.

“Did you know I drove that Mako out of here? Somehow she survived Ilos, the conduit, and being slammed into the base of the presidium tower and that was _after_ Garrus had to rebuild her a few times...” Her joy turned the sadness of a fond but painful memory. “Now she sits in an icy grave on Alchera. It didn't seem right to dig her out.”

She was surprised when he laced his fingers with hers, saying nothing as their hands rested in between them. When was the last time someone had held her hand, or gave her comfort? Her throat thickened with emotion as she squeezed his hand in thanks. 

After she calmed her breathing, she lay her head on his shoulder. She don't know how long they sat like that. Minutes? Hours? The sound of the water fountains and the occasional bird call brought her calm while the turian council brought her comfort.

Her omnitool pinged making her jump as the loud noise seemed to bounce off of every surface around them.

“Seems I've got a kid in jail.”, she murmured as she looked down at the message.

“The tank-bred?” She looked up showing her surprise. “Anderson kept me informed and it wasn't hard to see that the kid looks up to you.”

She laughed softly, “Never thought I'd live to have kids. He was...quite the surprise. But in a good way.”

“Children usually are.”

“Thank you, Sparatus. For this.” She blushed. It was a little embarrassing.

He squeezed her shoulder lightly before standing, thankfully ignoring her embarrassment. “My office is always open, Shepard.”

They left in different directions. Sparatus to return to work, and Shepard to bail out her son.


	2. Chapter 2

When they docked next, Shepard was a little worried about turning up at Sparatus' office. He would likely be swamped in work. He didn't need someone crowding his space. Instead, she wandered around a little bit before going to the Spectre's offices to finish up the last of her work. 

Their shore leave this go around was only a day in length but she'd managed to get everything Citadel related done in just a few hours. Including the shopping. EDI might have helped with that part though.

Upon exiting the Spectre's office, there was a turian waiting for her.

“Commander Shepard?”

“Yes?” Please don't ask me to help you.

“I've been asked to deliver this to you.” He passed a datapad over to her before saluting and leaving her to her privacy.

… 

_My office is open should you need a quiet place._

_-S_

...

It would be rude to ignore the second invitation, she reasoned. It wasn't like she had anything else to do anyway. Her apartment was huge and empty and EDI was overseeing the supplies. Besides, the quiet company would be nice.

Mind made up, she headed for the turian embassies. 

It took longer than expected to reach the waiting area that led to his office. Reporters tried to question her, people wanted autographs, and a young asari child wanted a holo. The reporters she ignored.

“Hello, Commander.” The turian female said politely. “The councilor has been expecting you. You may enter.”

“Thank you...” 

“Chida, Ma'am.”

“Thank you, Chida.” What a nice lady.

His office surprised her, the rich chocolate and red colors as opposed to the normal military metal that so many used. The man himself was also surprising. He had his shoes off as he reclined on the couch with his feet up on a coffee table, his bare hands typing away on a datapad. 

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

“Commander, glad you could make it.”

“Did you need something, Councilor?”

“No, but I thought perhaps you could use a place to relax.” It was tempting, so very tempting. “Come. Take your shoes off. Perhaps you can help me understand what is going on in the refugee bays.” 

He was trying to put her at ease. Why is he being so nice? Shaking her thoughts away, she removed her boots and placed them near a plant by the door before making her way to the very comfortable looking couch. 

She moaned as she sat. “How can an ordinary looking brown couch be so amazing.” It melded to her frame, supporting her in all the right places. 

“I can't tell you how many of this same couch I've bought over the years.”

“It's fantastic.” she declared softly.

She scooted closer when he motioned her to do so, laying her head on his shoulder while the rest of her was turned toward him. Her chest against his arm, her feet curled under her as her legs rested on top of his thigh, his typing hand resting on her knee. Her hand was in between her knees as the arm pressed against his rib area, while her other arm was tracing a scar on the top of his hand as he spoke about the supplies Garrus requested for the triage center.

“He wouldn't ask if it wasn't serious.”

He typed in a reply before returning the hand to her knee where she continued to trace small scars on his smooth leathery skin. Eventually the tracing slowed, as did her breathing. Before long, she was sleeping.

* * *

Movement jostled her. 

“Shtop moving.”, she whispered as she tried to bury her face into the hard pillow. That damn varren was such a bed hog. More movement. “Dammit Ursh, shcoot.”

A dual toned chuckle made her eyes snap open. “Urz? The varren?”

A blush washed over her, making her ears and cheeks burn in embarrassment. “Yeah. He decided to tag along after we cured the genophage.” She coughed, trying to remove the sleep from her voice. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep.”

“It's okay, Shepard. Are you hungry?”

“Starved.” She tensed suddenly when she saw the food on the table, “You got the food or someone brought it in?”

“Relax.” He squeezed her knee. “Chida is a professional. She would never gossip.”

Having to take his word for it, she accepted the plate. “Pizza? There's a place on the Citadel that makes pizza?”

“The man said it was a popular human dish. Is it okay?”

“Hell yeah! Real honest-to-goodness meat and veggies? Damn, Sparatus. You know how to make a gal feel special.” She took a bite, moaning as the flavors exploded on her tongue. “Besht peesha eber.” It'd been so long since she had pizza made with naturally grown toppings. Vat-grown just wasn't the same.

“Good.”

They traded stories quietly as they ate. It was nice really. The quiet intimacy of sharing a meal with a person that expected nothing from you. After dinner, they talked about everything. Crazy weather, their stupidest ideas as teenagers, the most horrible dates they'd ever been on. The evening was relaxing, fun, and peaceful.

But all too soon she had to return to her duties. A Spectre's job was never done.


	3. Chapter 3

Every time they docked for supplies Shepard would go to Sparatus' office or to her apartment, depending on the time.

Each 'session', as she'd come to think of them, left her filling a little better, a little less empty. Simply holding hands brought her a peace she hadn't felt in a long time. Being allowed to fall asleep without being constantly on edge that someone would burst through her door was strange. A good kind of strange.

But spending time doing nothing also made her feel guilty. Like taking these little moments for herself was wrong even though she _knew_ it wasn't. Every moment of her time seemed to be filled with completing missions, every mission to help the greater whole. At the end of her work day, her friends were all sleeping, leaving her alone to walk the empty halls. 

The ship always felt bigger during the night cycle. She used to enjoy the solitude, but now the quiet was just as heavy as the noise. A luxury turned into a burden thanks to Cerberus. She no longer needed as much sleep as she used to. 

Getting to spend time with someone for no reason whatsoever was one of the most eye opening experiences Shepard's had in a long time. She'd forgotten what it was like to relax. To just listen to another person breathe, or talk to themselves. To be treated as just a regular person instead of the super hero everyone wanted her to be.

He never expected anything from her. He just gave her comfort and peace. How do you thank someone for something so priceless?

With a sigh she exited the shower. It was late when they docked, so Shepard had come to her apartment. 

Thessia had been a disaster, then there had been Sanctuary. That place had been nothing but a ruse. How many people had gone there for safety only to be turned into Cerberus troops, brainwashed for the good of humanity? Or turned into monstrosities? She didn't want to think about it.

She finished dressing and headed toward the bar. A nightcap would be perfect to help loosen her up before she attempted sleep. 

[Commander, Councilor Sparatus is requesting entrance.]

“Let him in, Glyph.”

[At once.]

Why Glyph had a secondary drone here, Shepard didn't know. She didn't mind though, he was cute. Especially when he wore his little tie. Only for special occasions of course.

“Shepard?”

“Everything okay, sir?”

“As okay as it can be in war time. I'm not here on business.”

“Oh. A drink then? I might still have something team dextro didn't drink at the last party.”

He laughed softly, “That would be nice.”

Shepard easily found the beer labeled ' _Tali's. Don't drink, you bosh'tet!_ '. That quarian was one feisty lady. Shepard popped the top and sat it in front of her guest.

“Is Tali going to shoot me if I drink this?”

“Nah, she labeled that when she was drunk. Wrex had been giving her a hard time.”

They drank quietly for several minutes, the silence between them never uncomfortable. The tension slowly left her as she relaxed in her stool next to Sparatus. He had this effect on her these days. A year ago she would of gladly headbutted him. Funny how things change.

After this, the Normandy was leaving to assault Cerberus. Then the reapers. This was likely the last time she would be here. Survival was...slim for her. For everyone. 

Shepard took Sparatus' hand, cold from the beer, and pulled him wordlessly to the couch. If she'd learned anything over the last few months, it was that these little moments meant everything.

* * *

Only the familiar scent kept her from waking fully as she was lifted and carried. It was the cold sheets that made her inhale sharply as her eyes opened.

“Sorry, Shepard. Thought you would be more comfortable in your bed. Your VI lead me up here.”

“Thank you.”, she whispered groggily.

“Spirits be with you tomorrow.”, he said softly as he pressed his forehead to hers intimately.

Panic seized her when he turned to leave. “Wait! Stay. Please, just until I fall asleep?” The begging sounded childish in her own ears.

The turian said nothing as he sat on the edge of the bed to remove his shoes. Then he lay down next to her. It took a few moments for him to adjust the pillow comfortably, then she was curling herself into him. 

He ran his talons through her hair as he quietly spoke of his childhood. Vacations away from the city, hunting with his mother, constant scholarly quizzing from his father. Of places lost to the reapers and people that were likely lost as well. She held him as he spoke of things she hadn't the slightest clue of. She listened until his talons drifted to her upper waist, his voice trailed off, and his breathing became soft and even. 

Taking a deep breath in, she allowed herself to relax into him fully. 

Sleep came eventually, but not before she memorized the way his mandibles fluttered as he slept and the way his hand felt as it clenched and unclenched against her.


	4. Chapter 4

Everything echoed like she was in a tunnel. Lights were far too bright and pain... So much pain. It's over right? Her job is done? 

...Why were they being so loud, couldn't they see she was trying to rest?

...Finally, her body felt free but she still couldn't move. Why were the holding her down? Why couldn't she understand what they were saying?

...Sleep, yes she understood that word. She blinked away dust as the needle came into view. 

...Only when her eyes became too heavy to hold open did she realize what they did. Was she too broken? Were these her last breaths? Was it time to meet her friends already? It couldn't be...

–  
 _  
“Yes, Doctor. Oxygen is good, heart rate excellent, normal brain waves...”..._

_“...and I told her that if she...”..._

_“...ummer. There was this little pond, clear cool water, we used t...”..._

_“...then BAM! His head explodes. Never seen anything like that, Battlemaster. Jack is cra....”..._

_“...saw you sitting there. You seemed so...defeated.”..._

_“The square root of …”..._

_“...leep for months. How muc...”..._

_“...lmost healed completely. Pain should be minimal.”..._

_“...broke the piano. I will fix it, Battlemaster. The flower holder too.”..._

_“ ...missing our evenings together. Please wak...”...  
_

* * *

Her mouth was dry and tongue heavy as she tried to swallow. It took several tries to open her eyes and when she finally succeeded, she was met with a darkened room. 

Panic tried to set in as she looked around. She was hooked to numerous machines, the curtain on the window was closed, and the lights off. The only light in the room coming from the machines and the light leaking through the curtains. There wasn't a clock in sight nor nothing she could use as a weapon. Was this a hospital or another Cerberus facility?

Noise outside her door made her relax and close her eyes. 

“...octor. She showed signs of waking.”

“Thank you.”

Shepard lay quiet as the person moved around checking readings, the nurse having left. Only when the person was close enough did Shepard make her move. Opening her eyes, she reached out and grasped the neck leaning over her. The woman gasped, her hands trying to remove Shepard's hand on instinct.

“Shepard...”, the woman breathed.

It took several seconds for Shepard to recognize the green eyes and red hair. She let her hand fall, the sudden burst of adrenaline leaving her tired.

“Michel.”, her voice rough from disuse.

“You are safe. We're in Huerta Memorial.”

“Water.”

“Of course!” Shepard drank greedily for a few seconds only to have the straw pulled from her mouth. “If you drink too much you'll be sick.”

“War?”

“You won the war, Commander.”

“Time?” 

“We're in the night cycle. I can notify someone if you would like me to.”

“Sparatus.”, she said immediately. “And Hackett”, she added as an afterthought. He'd probably like to know what happened.

The doctor smiled secretly. “Of course, Commander.”

Her throat still ached but her mouth was wet. Little victories she supposed.


	5. Chapter 5

The feel of warmth in her hand woke her. She hadn't even felt sleepy when Doctor Michel left.

“Shepard.”

His voice was quiet, but it brought a small smile to her lips.

“Spara...”, she coughed lightly. “Sparatus.” She looked him over, seeing a few small scars. “How long?”

“Six months, one week, two days, and sixteen hours.” She watched his mandibles twitch nervously. “I've spent a lot of my time here. My apartment was destroyed, my office in shambles...”

“My apartment?”

“Still standing. Your 'son' had a few minor mishaps while he was cleaning up the mess.”

She laughed, it quickly turning into a cough. Sparatus stood quickly, offering her water. She drank slowly. “Thanks.” her voice rough. “It's hard to picture Grunt having _minor_ anything.” Feeling a little overwhelmed, she brought his hand to her chest, squeezing it tightly as she tried to steady her breathing.

“Shepard?”, he ask worriedly.

Her voice barely more than a whisper. “I can't believe I survived. I was sure I would die, prepared even.”

He pressed his forehead to hers, his voice just as thick with emotion. “It was close. Spirits it was close. If it hadn't have been for Ms. Lawson...”

“Miranda? What about the rest of my people?”

“Alive, Shepard. And waiting for you.”

She sobbed as he wrapped his arms around her. Relief, guilt, and exhaustion. And he took it all, giving her peace in return.

Later, when she was finally cried out, they lay and talk. Sparatus filled her in on the current news while the doctor came and went, taking scans and readings.

“You can move into my apartment.”, she said suddenly, cursing herself after the words spilled from her lips.

His blank face made her nervous. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You'll just have to share with Grunt.”

Sparatus laughed, “I've been staying in a barracks. With your varren. You weren't kidding when you said he was a bed hog. Grunt can't be worse than that.”

“You have Urz?” her voice filled with shock, her eyes filled with tears. 

“I was still wearing the suit I wore to your apartment that night when he approached me while we dug for you. He smelled your scent on me. Somehow, under all that grime and blood, he smelled you.”, he said softly.

“So he decided you would be his babysitter?”, she teased.

“Or he mine. He's reminded me to eat more than once.” She yawned, unable to hide it. “Sleep. I will be back soon. Maybe we can break you out.” He joked as he stood from the bed.

“Sparatus?”

“Yes, Jane?”

She pulled him down to her pressing her forehead to his. “Thank you, for everything. For being here, for...all those days spent in your company...” A tear escaped as she tried to blink them away. 

“There comes a time when a man sees the opportunity he's been waiting for and he takes it. As I did with you in the presidium that day.” His neck darkened in embarrassment as he broke eye contact. “I've admired you for a long time. I... was harder on you during your spectre trials for reasons I'm sure you can guess.” He met her eyes, “I let so many chances pass by to show you that I was here for you on a personal level...”

She smiled brightly, “You have a crush on me?”

“Crush is a little immature...” She laughed loudly, ignoring the ache of her still sore throat. “Fine. I had a crush. But when I saw you so beaten down that day, I was worried.”

Her smile softening, she kissed him gently. “The man that brings me peace and comfort, takes care of my varren, and thinks my kid is cute, has a crush on me.”

“Spirits.” His breath brushed across her chin when he huffed.

“The feeling is mutual.”

“Yeah?”, he asked as his mandibles spread in a smile.

“Oh, yeah.”

It would take time for Shepard to be able to leave the hospital, but it went quickly thanks to all her visitors. Soon, she was home resting in the arms of a man that gave her far more than she ever dreamed. 

Love, warmth, joy, happiness....

And peace.


End file.
